Sometimes a woman has to step into her man's shoe

Since Naboth's vineyard was close to my palace, I decided to take it from him. I approached Naboth and asked him to give me his vineyard so that I could make it into a vegetable garden. I even told him that I will give him a better vineyard in exchange or whatever it is worth. However, Naboth was unwilling to compromise, being the baby he is, because he said that the LORD forbid him to give me the inheritance of his fathers.

So I went home and became angry. I refused to eat and sat at my bed because I was too angry to do anything. Then my wife came and asked me what is wrong. I told and she asked me, "Is this how you act as king over Israel? Get up and eat! Cheer up. I'll get you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezreelite." I felt a bit ashamed and offended at what she said but decided not to say anything because she was already mad as it is.

Jezebel wrote letters in my name to the elders and nobles who lived in Naboth's city. In the letters, she told them to proclaim a day of fasting and seat Naboth in a prominent place among the people. Then she told them to seat two scoundrels opposite of him and have them testify that he has cursed both God and I. Then she told them to take him out and stone Naboth to death.

The elders and nobles did as they were told like a dog listens to his master. They proclaimed a fast and had the two scoundrels testify against Naboth. Then they took Naboth and stoned him.

Then Jezebel told me that Naboth was dead and that I could take possession of his or the unclaimed vineyard. I was excited at that news and thank Jezebel for doing that for me. Isn't she the best. I bet you wish that she was your wife. ;P