How dare he challenge ME!

Today Obadiah told me that Elijah is here and will present himself to me. My wife and I was ecstatic at the news that that old fool finally has the courage to come out and talk to me. My wife and I have pondered why though. We came up with the conclusion that he came to either convict us of something like prophets always do or hopefully he came to tell us that Baal is the right way to go.

Sadly, he did not. Instead, arrrrggg when I come to think of it, he came to challenge my gods. Can you believe MY GOD versus his god. You see, my god is way bigger and stronger than his. Mine will beat him by a landslide, you just wait and see. Elijah wanted to set up a challenge on Mount Carmel. At Mount Carmel, they will set up 2 altars with a bull on each. The challenge is simple, whoever's god calls fire down on the bull wins. He, the only prophet left of his puny god, against our 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah. Now tell me, who do you think will win. If you still can't get the picture of how big my god is compared to that so called LORD of Israel who brought the Israelites out of Egypt and bla bla bla, here is one except the gods are in the form of dogs instead.


How dare he mock us. Elijah kept on mocking us, telling us to call Baal because he may be busy or on the telephone. I THINK WE GOT THE IDEA ALREADY, NO NEED TO RUB IT IN OUR FACES. I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIND SINCE YOU SERVED YHWH. He also chased down all 850 prophets and murdered them, I thought that was against their law. Hmmmm, this is why Elijah's god should not be served. The only reason we lost the challenge was because he probably messed with our altar so that it would not catch on fire. My wife told me that, and it is correct because it sounds like something a prophet of Yahweh would do. You just wait Elijah, when the time comes my wife will finally rid you of this earth. Your days are numbered...